"I am a fanatic about enhancing communication at work to ensure everything runs seamlessly. However, one of our supervisors who transferred from another department was not very communicative. Most of the time, this person would either ignore you or brush you off, no matter who you were. So I knew it wasn't personal. But it was hampering our effectiveness as a team due to a lot of messy communication and mixed signals.

So, I went out on a limb and asked this supervisor if I could have a chat with them outside of work about their thoughts on how to enhance communication in the department. They agreed and wanted to go to a local bar for a professional drink. I agreed. As soon as we were out, I was shocked at how much alcohol they consumed, and pretty soon, they started dumping all the personal struggles they were going through, and I was sympathetic. This suddenly gave me insights into how I could adjust my communication to their style while being sympathetic to their needs.

After, they were more transparent and forthcoming with their communication, yet with only me. But, I had a better idea of their motivators and how to engage with them to earn their trust and make them feel heard and understood, and I would often translate for the rest of the team. They had issues where they didn't feel very heard or understood, so they quit communicating anything more than the bare essentials. The others in our department observed the adjustment to my approach and followed suit. After a short while, this supervisor started lowering their guard and became far more transparent and cooperative because they felt more heard, understood, and validated. Suddenly their approach transformed as if they were only now accepted into the team. I think it boils down to communication preference. For some people, trust is hard-earned. For some people, communication may feel limited if they don't feel understood. But in this case, that was a self-fulfilling prophecy."