How to Answer: Tell me about a time your former manager or coworker upset you. What did they do to upset you, and how did you handle the situation?
5. Tell me about a time your former manager or coworker upset you. What did they do to upset you, and how did you handle the situation?
The Goal
Being drawn into an emotional circumstance at work can make you feel out of control. The interviewer wants to know that you can handle emotionally-driven scenarios professionally. The goal of your response is to highlight your conflict-management abilities while showing a strong level of professional self-awareness.
Written by Rachelle Enns on March 16th, 2022
What to Avoid
There are a few factors to avoid when answering this question:
- Avoid telling a long, drawn-out story surrounded by negativity. Instead, keep your answer focused on the positive factors.
- Avoid giving an example of when you initiated the conflict. Instead, consider talking about a time when the dispute arose due to a miscommunication.
- Avoid bad-mouthing anyone. Instead, talk more about how well you handled the situation and what you learned in the process.
Overall, rather than dwelling on the problem, focus your response on the solution you generated.
Written by Rachelle Enns on March 16th, 2022
Pro Tip
'Tell me about a time...' means that the interviewer is looking for a story-based example for this scenario-based interview question. You can form an effective response using the STAR method. STAR is an acronym for Situation, Task, Action, Result.
- Situation: Set the stage with the background information the interviewer needs to make sense of your story.
- Task: Continuing to set the stage, give the interviewer an idea of your role and responsibilities in this story.
- Action: Next, offer a detailed description of the steps you took to resolve the situation you described.
- Result: Last, talk about the specific outcomes that resulted from your actions.
Written by Rachelle Enns on March 16th, 2022
How to Answer
Think back to a work-related scenario where you felt upset by a co-workers' words or actions. Then, without dwelling too much on the wrongdoing you felt, use the STAR method to describe how you moved through the situation to create a resolution. Assure the interviewer, through the actions you describe, that you are a professional who can handle instances where you might feel upset or emotional in the workplace.
Behavior patterns are a significant focus of any skilled interviewer. So, if your response is too vague, be prepared for follow-up questions about why you felt bothered by the situation. The interviewer may want to dig deeper into the reasoning behind the trigger.
Written by Rachelle Enns on March 16th, 2022
Answer Example
"(Situation & Task) When I was sales administrator at Company XYZ, my colleague and I were asked to build a presentation. The presentation was an important 20 slide sales pitch for one of the company's largest client accounts. When my colleague and I met to discuss the scope, we agreed to split the work evenly. We were each assigned ten slides, and we clarified who was responsible for which tasks. Unfortunately, my colleague didn't finish her half in time for the deadline. I was concerned about her lack of involvement since the project, if left incomplete, would disappoint the client, and our leaders would question our ability to work as a team. (Action) I decided to go ahead and complete my colleague's portion of the work as well. I worked late into the evening, completed all the slides, and submitted them to our leadership team. I approached my colleague in the morning and let her know that the project was complete after I dedicated additional hours. I was upset with her, and, to my surprise, she became upset with me. She started crying and then blamed me for making her look bad to our leadership team. I asked her to explain what she meant. We sat down and talked about the project and discussed how she lost track of her deadline. She kept bringing up the fact that she looked irresponsible. I realized during our conversation that she thought I submitted the work and told our leaders that I did everything. I assured her that I did not let our leaders know that she had fallen behind in the project. I let her know that I maintained the project's integrity without shedding light on the roadblock she had with her deadline. (Result) She felt better afterward and apologized for losing track of her deadline. We agreed that she would be transparent with me if it happened again, and I could help her. Since this instance, my colleague and I have had a strong, trusting relationship, and she's always submitting her work on time."
Written by Rachelle Enns on March 16th, 2022
Retail Example
"(Situation) I once worked with an individual who was frequently late for their shift. Her tardiness impacted the whole store and our team because we couldn't trust her to arrive on an opening or closing shift. (Task) Since I was the only retail sales rep. without young children who needed me in the morning and evening, the manager always asked me to take the opening shift or closing shift stay. I also covered shifts for this person on occasion. At first, I was happy to be a team player, but I started to feel taken advantage of as time passed. (Action) Once I realized that the situation was starting to bother me, I knew it needed addressing. Discussing the issue right away would prevent feelings from bubbling over. So, I sat down with the co-worker who was always late and let her know how her actions impacted me. I also let my manager know that the situation was starting to affect my overall job satisfaction. (Result) After having an open discussion, my co-worker realized that her actions had a domino effect that rippled to other team members. We were able to agree on fixing the situation. She worked with our manager on a performance plan, where consequences were put in place if she were late or missed another shift. I was happy to clear the air and see the situation resolved quickly, ensuring I could focus on my work and maintain a healthy level of job satisfaction."
Written by Rachelle Enns on March 16th, 2022
Sales Example
"(Situation & Task) When I worked at Company XYZ as a sales rep., there was a significant focus on client service. One of our department's rules was that we needed to have a backup sales rep. who would take our accounts if we went away on vacation or had a sick day. The backup sales rep. was to provide relief and take care of the other reps clients' needs as though it were their account. I was often asked to be the backup sales rep. on my co-workers' accounts, which was flattering because everyone trusted me with their book of business. What became frustrating was when I would ask for someone to back me up, nobody would volunteer. Everyone expected the highest level of work from me on their accounts in their absence, but they were aloof with my clients. (Action) I let my co-workers know that I felt frustrated and disappointed. I needed to address and solve the imbalance to avoid feeling upset towards my team. It was a tough conversation to have, and it felt awkward to ask my team members to commit to supporting me better, but I'm glad I approached the issue. (Result) The next time I took a vacation day, one of the top producing team members volunteered right away to take care of my clients for the time I was away. They did an exceptional job supporting my clients in my absence, and I was thankful for the care they put into my accounts. Moving forward, my co-workers continued to assist without hesitation, and I continued to reciprocate."
Written by Rachelle Enns on March 16th, 2022
Teacher Example
"(Situation) A few years ago, when I first started my teaching career, I noticed that the seasoned teachers at my school made many disparaging comments to me and the four other new teachers. Their actions in department meetings, such as brushing off our suggestions, scowling at the ideas we had, or even flat-out criticizing our contributions, left us all feeling upset and undervalued. (Task) I was the most outspoken of the five teachers new to the faculty. Knowing this, I felt it was my responsibility to initiate a resolution. (Action) I chose to follow our school district's formal grievance procedure to address the situation. I wrote to the principal and clearly stated my grievance. In my letter, I asked for mediation to be present in the next department meeting. Although a formal grievance seemed extreme at first, I realized through the resolution that what the other new teachers and I were feeling was discrimination. It was indeed a serious issue. (Result) Our department went through the proper steps to resolve the problem amicably. The new teachers were relieved that I escalated the situation and pushed new teachers to be valued and respected. When serious issues arise, it's essential to be constructive and address the concern as soon as possible to avoid the problem from growing."
Written by Rachelle Enns on March 16th, 2022
Admin Example
"(Situation & Task) I do not get upset very quickly. The last time I recall feeling upset in the workplace was last year when my manager blamed me for not sending an email that I indeed did send. The email communication was critical, so the emotions were high. If I had not sent the email, it could have lost us a client, so I understood the passion behind her reaction. Still, it bothered me that she so quickly jumped to blaming me. (Action) To resolve the issue, I showed her my sent folder, which contained the proof my manager needed. It turned out that she had been looking under the wrong email account for the communication. (Result) After I offered evidence of the sent email, she immediately apologized for her reaction. I was honest with her that this situation made me feel distrusted, and we agreed to improve communication in the future. Since then, we have worked well together and have not encountered another misunderstanding."
Written by Rachelle Enns on March 16th, 2022
Manager Example
"(Situation & Task) When I became the sales manager at Company XYZ, I took on a team with a sales team member who was very emotional. They would threaten to quit at least once a month and often complained about minor issues. At first, I would always scramble and do what I could to make the person happy. However, I noticed a pattern that once one issue was resolved, they would bring up another. Soon, I realized that I was being taken advantage of for being the 'new' manager. (Action) This realization upset me, and so the next time this person threatened to quit, I said, 'That is probably for the best.' The shock on their face said it all! I had an honest conversation with them and expressed my frustration with their behavior and lack of morale. (Result) This person started working harder and immediately stopped pushing my patience. This situation helped me to establish confidence as a manager, and today, my team members are respectful of me, the company, and they appreciate my straightforward communicative approach."
Written by Rachelle Enns on March 16th, 2022
Marketing Example
"(Situation & Task) While working as a marketing manager at a previous agency, I reported to a marketing director who was highly traditional in their approach. He would focus primarily on print advertising strategies and seem resistant to many modern marketing ideas. He was budget-conscious, so I explained that we don't always need a significant budget when using digitally-driven marketing efforts. Instead, we need to be highly innovative and creative. I attempted to win him over by explaining how well-planned digital marketing strategies can be budget-friendly for some clients be quite effective. To my disappointment, he continually disagreed with what I was saying. (Action) After some frustration, I realized that I needed to show him the digital potential rather than tell him. So, I created a mock campaign on my own time. I created a mock brand, tracked the most important metrics, and engaged potential consumers online. Then, after 60 days, I presented my results with clear findings. (Result) Once I showed him what I could do with a short digital marketing campaign, he agreed to explore my marketing ideas. I learned that sometimes I need to stop telling and start showing to be more persuasive."
Written by Rachelle Enns on March 16th, 2022
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